


If you can do it once, you can do it again.

by arcana



Series: Volleyball au where cis people are rare and everything is mostly alright [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, also it's nb koushi so who cares, background daisuga really but it's Apparent and There
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-30
Updated: 2014-08-30
Packaged: 2018-02-15 08:52:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,796
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2222967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arcana/pseuds/arcana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Guys,” Koushi began, voice strong and clear despite how they felt. They guessed the fact that this was their second time helped. “I’ve kind of been… hiding something from all of you for while."</p>
            </blockquote>





	If you can do it once, you can do it again.

“Koushi,” a hand rose to their back, comforting, warm. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?”

Their steps stuttered a bit, but the hand on their back kept them steady, kept them going. They and Daichi were walking to the gym for afternoon practice, and had been totally content in their silence. But of course, it couldn't stay that way. Koushi bit their lip. It had been weeks since their first confession (the next day they had gone home, Daichi in tow, to try and explain it to their parents) and since then, they had talked lengths about it to Daichi. The Sugawara’s were trying at the very least, slipping up less and less around them with pronouns, calling them only Koushi, not _laughing_ at them. But Koushi’s parents had brought up a good point: the team.

Karasuno’s volleyball team had no idea about any of this. They all still called Koushi “Suga” or “Suga-san”, still addressed them as “him”, and Daichi could see it made Koushi uncomfortable. They weren’t ever visibly upset, but it was small things—a flinch, a slightly tighter smile—that people who had known Koushi for a long time picked up on with ease. Much of the team hadn't really developed their observational skills, but people like Asahi and Kiyoko, having spent three years with them, noticed after only a couple bad reactions. They had both come up to them to see whether or not everything was okay, but they were brushed off with one of Koushi’s signature smiles. 

After Ennoshita had approached them, Daichi made up his mind and talked to them about it. 

Koushi hadn't wanted to talk about it the first day, hadn't wanted to talk about it with their parents, and definitely hadn't wanted to talk about it when Daichi sat them down and wouldn't let them escape. They just couldn't go on avoiding it for much longer.

“Even if I’m not, there’s no way you’d let me back out now,” Koushi murmured. They were smiling, only slightly, but it was there, and that was probably a good thing. Daichi grabbed their hand. 

By the time they got to the club room, changed, and made their way into the gym, almost everyone was in there. Coach Ukai was talking to Kiyoko and Yachi about something, probably to do with managing, but Daichi left Koushi with a squeeze to the shoulder and hurried over to where they were. When Kiyoko and Yachi saw him and how serious he looked, they both said hi and left, thanking Ukai over their shoulders. 

“‘Sup?” 

“Coach, would it be okay if Koushi made announcement after practice? I know you usually use that time to tell us what we should improve on and everything, but it’s. Well, it’s pretty important. It shouldn’t take long.”

“Sure, yeah, I don’t mind. Everything alright?” Ukai looked vaguely concerned.

“We’ll have to see.”

The coach nodded, but frowned. Daichi didn't want to worry him, but he also didn't want to be dishonest. He was trying not to get anxious, but of course there were things that could go wrong. And he was _sure_ Koushi was doing their fair share of worrying too. 

He made his way quickly back to Koushi, who was getting started in their practice for the day. They looked toward Daichi, and he nodded. That seemed to release some tension in Koushi’s shoulders, at least.

Practice actually went okay. Koushi didn’t miss anymore than he would have during a normal day; if anything, they were more focused. Daichi was really the one who wasn't acting normally. He kept glancing Koushi’s way, making sure they weren't shaking or going green in the face, but they were never looking his way. Koushi only ever seemed to be looking at the ball. 

Hours passed by like seconds for the two of them, and Koushi was leaning against the wall gulping down water when Ukai called for the end of practice meeting.

Koushi tried their best not to go rigid. 

They walked over to where Coach Ukai stood slowly, as though they were preoccupied. This wasn't exactly false; Koushi’s mind was racing and spinning with all the possible outcomes of today, who could end up hating them, who could end up _leaving the team_. Oh no. What if they caused someone to leave? Karasuno needed everyone they had right now, and if one of their team members quit just because of them—

“Sugawara?”

Their head snapped up at the sound of their name. Coach Ukai was looking at them curiously, waiting. 

“Didn’t you have something you needed to tell the team?”

“Ah, uhm. Yes.” Koushi didn't know what to do next. Should he go up to where Coach Ukai was standing, in front of the entire team? They took a step, then hesitated. Should they stay here? All eyes would be on them anyway, so did it matter?

Koushi looked briefly to Daichi, who gave an encouraging nod and nervous little smile. 

“Well then, come on,” Ukai said, “I don't want to rush you, but we do still have some things to go over. Everyone probably wants to go home, too.” His concerned look from before was back, and Koushi felt a little bad at having induced that.

“Right. Sorry.” Finally deciding, Koushi stepped over toward him. They could feel their hands start to shake, so they gripped onto their practice jersey to keep steady.

It wasn't like they were looking out into a sea of faces or anything. In reality, it was only fourteen or so people. Still, Koushi could feel their gazes locked on them as they took a breath.

“Guys,” they began, voice strong and clear despite how they felt. They guessed the fact that this was their second time helped. “I’ve kind of been… hiding something from all of you for while. It’s not bad, I’m not quitting the team and I’m not ill. It’s—and this is going to be hard to take in and understand for all of you, I get that—but what I’m about to say to you isn’t something I’ve just made up of the top of my head, I promise.” They hesitated for the next part. Now that they had started their speech, and started it so oddly, they had truly captured everyone’s attention. Even Hinata, who could get distracted by a pin dropping on the other side of the room, was staring at them, wholly focused. Koushi almost gulped, but they resisted. They had to look confident for this. 

“I’ve kept this between myself and Daichi for a couple weeks now, and I myself have known for months, but what I wanted to say is that.I’m. Not,” This was it, “a boy. I’m not a boy.” They had to repeat, not even for the others, for themself. They had to have no hesitation about it. Koushi was not a boy.

A couple people in their little audience looked taken aback. They should probably clarify. “What I mean is, well, I’m biologically male, you all know that, but I’m not a male, I’m not, and I’m not a girl either, so don’t think that, and please don’t call me Suga or Suga-san anymore either, it’s _too_ male, Sugawara is fine, or even Koushi if you want just not Suga and not ‘he’, use ‘they.’” Their words were coming out in a rush of air, they probably weren’t making any sense. Koushi’s hand tightened on their uniform. “Sorry, guys, I just—”

“Koushi.” Daichi spoke sharply. He walked briskly to Koushi’s side and gripped their hand. “It’s okay.” He turned to the team. “This is really hard for them, and I’m sure you’ll all understand why this is taking them time to say, but Koushi recently explained to me—”

“Daichi, no,” Koushi said. They were still shaking, and their palms were all clammy, but they had a certain determined look in their eye that a looked a lot like the one Daichi saw in matches. “I—I need to do this myself.” They, too, turned to the team. “I know this is probably hard to understand, that there are more than two genders. More than male or female, I mean. What I am is something called agender, and if you don’t know what that means, then—”

“I know!” One of them spoke up from the crowd, a small, high voice, taking them all by surprise—Yachi. “It’s when you’re kind of no gender, right? More like, neutral? A mental kind of thing?”

Oh, god bless their new team manager. “Yes! That’s exactly—How’d you know that, Yachi?”

The girl smiled bashfully. “I’ve done my fair share of digging.”

“That’s—well, yeah, what Yachi said. Thank you, Yachi.” Koushi was so lucky to have her here. “That’s basically it. Actually, that’s. All I was really going to say on it. If you guys have any questions about anything I’d be very happy to answer them. Even if you guys are angry or anything, I want you to come talk to me about it more than I’d want you acting on that anger, so…”

“Why would we be angry?” Another voice, purely curious in tone. Hinata, of course. “You’re still you, Suga-s—Sugawara-san! It’s cool that you’re not a boy or a girl!” he bounced a little on his feet. Koushi’s eyes watered. He was _trying_ , really trying, and right off the bat, too.

“Yeah,” Yamaguchi was speaking up, even. “I didn't even know that was possible. I guess you learn new things every day.”

“Leave it to your senpai to teach you awesome stuff!” Tanaka, too, and he was grinning, Nishinoya laughing along with him. In fact, the whole team seemed happy, like a weight was lifted off their shoulders, too. Maybe Koushi had underestimated how much effect they had on the team.

“If that’s all that has been bothering you,” Ukai joined in the conversation, finally, sounding a little out of his element but relieved as well, “should we get back to volleyball?”

“Sure!” Koushi was feeling so, so happy, so loved, and everyone was looking at him like they felt the _same_. “Oh, but, one more thing, if I could?” At Ukai’s nod, Koushi said, “I realise this is kind of a big change, and people will definitely slip up, but I would really appreciate it if you’d all try to get my pronouns and my name—”

“We’ll try, Sugawara!” Asahi, now, yelling from the back. “We’ll all do our best!”

A grand “Osu!” rang out from the rest of the team, Tsukishima, Takeda and the managers included, and Koushi felt the most sincere, lovely smile pulling at the corners of their mouth. Daichi slipped his arm around their waist and squeezed.

They really did love their team.

**Author's Note:**

> p.s. after this mostly everyone on the team slowly started to think "hmm... maybe i'm not a guy either..." maybe i'll write about that one day  
> daisuga week was really fun!! sorry this is like 5 minutes before midnight but i still made it  
> today was free prompt and my friend told me to make a sequel to my other nb koushi fic so. i did.  
> thanks for reading ahhh


End file.
